WHOSE IDEA WAS IT ANYWAY?

“I would like to know the name of the buffoon who first decided that competition was a bad thing. Who was the silly goose who woke up one morning with the goofy notion that kids shouldn’t keep score in their games so that the members of the losing team wouldn’t suffer from low self-esteem? And what fathead decided that high schools shouldn’t have valedictorians because all the other seniors would feel like a bunch of underachievers? No doubt it was the same idiot who determined that a level playing field didn’t really mean equal opportunity, but equal results.”

—Burt Prelutsky