Barack Obama, a famous fan of pickup basketball, must recognize his plight: It’s two on one now. John McCain drafted Gov. Sarah Palin, the star point guard from the Wasilla Warriors, to double-team Obama. (McCain’s team doesn’t care if no one covers Joe Biden, who seems to spend most of his time yelling to the media, ‘I’m open! I’m open!’ But when he gets the ball, all he does is talk about what a great player he is and dribble in place.)”

—Jonah Goldberg