"Letter to the editor"

From Chrenkoff

Marc Fencil, a senior at Ohio University, currently serving in Iraq, writes to his fellow students:

"It's a shame that I'm here in Iraq with the Marines right now and not back at Ohio University completing my senior year and joining in blissful ignorance with the enlightened, war-seasoned protesters who participated in the recent 'die-in' at College Gate. It would appear that all the action is back home, but why don't we make sure? That's right, this is an open invitation for you to cut your hair, take a shower, get in shape and come on over! If Michael Moore can shave and lose enough weight to fit into a pair of camouflage utilities, then he can come too!

"Make sure you all say your goodbyes to your loved ones though, because you won't be seeing them for at least the next nine months. You need to get here quick because I don't want you to miss a thing. You missed last month's discovery of a basement full of suicide vests from the former regime (I'm sure Saddam's henchmen just wore them because they were trendy though). You weren't here for the opening of a brand new school we built either. You might also notice women exercising their new freedom of walking to the market unaccompanied by their husbands."

As Marc concludes, "If you decide to decline my offer, then at least you should sleep well tonight knowing that men wearing black facemasks and carrying AK-47s yelling 'Allahu Akbar' over here are proud of you and are forever indebted to you for advancing their cause of terror. While you ponder this, I'll get back to the real 'die-in' over here. I don't mind."

What else can you say, except thank God for people like Marc Fencil."

Amen to that. Thank you Mark Fencil and all of our great servicemen and women wherever you may be.