Don't Worry. We're On Top Of It

The Zetas, the U.S. trained Mexican commandos, now a violent paramilitary group which had been trained by U.S. soldiers to fight the drug cartels before switching sides in the drug war, and are now fighting for control of smuggling routes along the border, may have procured Russian SAM-7 surface-to-air missiles capable of shooting down airliners, so say intelligent sources.

Oh and speaking of intelligent sources, when asked to confirm or deny the reports, Mexican officials said "no speaka English" and U. S. officials when asked said, "Huh? What the hell are Zetas?"

O.K. I made the last the last part up, but the first part is not fabricated. (H.H.)